Cancer SUCKS!

What a sad, emotional, exhausting, depressing day it was around 6A... I know it says Friday, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so it's still Thursday to me. 

I think I am in shock... or denial or something. I just feel numb inside about Charlie and I keep expecting to see him out walking the halls. Kennedy was out riding her car earlier and rode down to the playroom. She went right inside and looked around and said "Charlie!?!" The last time she was in there Charlie was in there too playing with his Grandma. Then she rode by his room and stopped and waved and said "Hi Charlie!" And just looked around like "Where is he?!" Man it just breaks my heart. She can't understand. She misses him and doesn't even know why. I miss him and don't know why! Cancer SUCKS!! 

Charlie fought so long and so hard... and so did Chad and Kim and we prayed for victory... they all deserved it. I'll never understand why God decided to take Charlie home, and I'm trying hard to remember that He knows best and this is all part of His plan, but it still sucks and I'm still sad and angry and my heart just breaks for Chad and Kim and especially KK who will only know her awesome big brother through pictures and stories. NOT fair!

Thousands of tears have been shed all over the world for the Porter family today. Thousands of prayers have gone up.

Charlie, I hope you and Cody are having a blast in Heaven right now playing with the other Angels and doing all the things your earthly bodies would not let you do. I picture you right now sitting down to a feast of sandwiches and minestrone soup. We're so glad you are cancer free. You'll be with us always.

Until next time,
Renee

I am thankful that the photographer who came to 6A 2 days ago got awesome pictures of Charlie with his family. 
I am thankful that Chad, Kim & Kaylond were able to walk the survivor lap in honor of Charlie at the relay for life walk... at least one time.
I am thankful that Charlie was here to celebrate his 3rd birthday.
I am thankful Chad came back to the hospital in time. 
I am thankful for the nurses, care partners, therapists and especially Jenny, the music therapist, who love Charlie so much, they made his days here the best they could be.
I am thankful for my husband who took over the kids today and just let me BE. 
I am thankful for Charlie, for his life, and for my friend Kim.