Thursday night as I was driving to my DSAMT board meeting, I realized it was the first time in a long time that I was in a car, by myself, with no one asking to watch cartoons in the back seat! YAY! So, I put in my new Moi CD (Thanks Lori-Lynn!) and spent some time with my thoughts. (Scary, I know.)
I got to thinking about Kassidy and some struggles we've been having lately. Don't get me wrong, Kassidy is AMAZING, but lately I find myself losing my patience with her more often than I would like. I have this horrible character flaw that when I ask one of my kids to DO something, I want it DONE... right away. For example, I could say, "Kassidy, go put your clothes away in your drawers." And Kassidy will wander around, pick up her shoes or her backpack or do something else first. And it drives me CRAZY! And I'll say, "KASSIDY! What did I JUST tell you to do?!" She will look at me and say, "I was going to... I'm just going to do this first." It just doesn't fly with me. I get mad - she gets sad - and we're both unhappy. *sigh*
So I was thinking about this tonight and trying to figure out a solution to this ongoing problem when I felt God tap me on the shoulder. He said, "Seriously Renee, I know this frustrates you, but what about when I ask you to do something? Do you always do it right away?" No. I don't. I can come up with EVERY excuse in the book. "OK God, I will. But first I'm going to do this." And I'm sure He's standing there shaking His head at me saying, "Renee, what did I JUST tell you to do?!" For some reason, my priorities are always more important than His, and just like Kassidy, I think, "Well I was going to do it... eventually."
So as I drove down the 65 Freeway I prayed (with my eyes open of course) and asked for forgiveness... forgiveness for not always answering God's call and forgiveness for losing my patience with Kassidy for the very thing I am guilty of. And later I will talk to Kassidy again and we'll figure out a way for both of us to be better listeners. Life is full of lessons, and I'm thankful this was one I didn't miss.