The House of They

THE HOUSE OF THEY

Have you heard of the terrible family They,
And the dreadful, venomous things They say?
Why, half the gossip under the sun,
If you trace it back, you will find begun
In that wretched House of They.

A numerous family, so I am told,
And its genealogical tree is old;
For ever since Adam and Eve began
To build up the curious race of man,
Has existed the House of They.

Gossip-mongers and spreaders of lies,
Horrid people whom all despise!
And yet the best of us now and then,
Repeat queer tales about women and men
And quote the House of They.

They live like lords, and never labor;
A They’s one task is to watch his neighbor,
And tell his business and private affairs
To the world at large; they are sowers of tares –
These folks in the House of They.

It is wholly useless to follow a They
With a whip or a gun, for he slips away
And into his house, where you cannot go;
It is locked and bolted and guarded so –
This horrible house of They.

Though you cannot get in, yet They got out,
And spread their villainous tales about;
Of all the rascals under the sun
Who have come to punishment, never one
Belonged to the House of They.