Sunday, October 26, 2008

To Ms. Anonymous

To my commenter who left this comment:
"Don't you think that running through the drive-thru right after feeding therapy is sending Kam the wrong message? I mean, he probably doesn't want to eat veges because he's so used to fast food. Apparently, he gets to eat fast food ALL the time. What's the point of the feeding therapy then?! There is nothing like a home cooked meal, with veges."

First of all, it's "Veggies" not "veges". Second of all, if you knew ANYTHING about Kameron you would know that it is sensory issues that prevent him from eating the texture of veggies... these issues being directly related to his sensory integration disorder. If you'd also bothered to read the Q&A you'd see he ate apples and drank milk with it. What's so unhealthy about that?! Also, if you'd bothered to have read the whole post you would have seen that with the extremely busy day I had there wasn't much chance of getting a homecooked meal. Do I like to cook? NOPE! Do I cook as often as I should? NOPE! But my kids DON'T eat fast food ALL the time and they DO get well balanced meals... except for Kameron who promptly gags and throws up as soon as they touch his mouth... hence the feeding therapy. My goal is to be able to have us all sit down and eat the SAME thing without me having to make him a completely different meal. I'm sorry I don't cook a full 5 course meal every night. I have a FEW other things to do with my time. Lastly, if you're going to insult me, feel FREE to leave your name or use my email. Only cowards insult others anonymously.

52 comments :

Christina said...

Ah, just LOVE the coward anon posters....Shows who they really are inside AND do they NOT think that we have site meters and know fully well who they are? Geesh!

Jenn said...

Good Lord ! I don't know why some people are so rude to others !

♥Lisa♥ said...

You know, i am sitting here in shock that someone would write that. ok, im speachless, really. I hope they read up on Sensory integration disorder and realize that was an awesome day for your family.

But i do need to go because i just turned my head and my 4 y/o is eating sour cream from the tub and i almost think DH gave it to him, not totally sure on the dh thing as he just left for work.

We are at home and its dairy so would that be a home cooked dairy meal, lol?

Mandy Greene said...

You go girl, I know you already know who the anonymous person is. Sitemeter rocks!

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

I didn't know Kamm had sensory issues. Sorry, I sometimes only have time to skim and I mess a lot. *blush* Anyhoo, My 12 year old son was diagnosed with SPD when he was 7. We did OT for a year that included listening therapy. It changed our life!!

BTW, he has yet to eat a veggie. He gags to this day. Oh, well. There are worse things than never eating veggies. Like...Being rude, perhaps?

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

That would be miss, not mess. :o)

Lea White said...

Oh that is horrible. I've seen a number of blogs being "invaded" by these rude people who try and criticise and tell people what they have to do or what they are doing is wrong. I've even seen a mom who lost her child a year ago being told to "move on" and "if she can't be positive then to stop posting in a public journal".

A journal is a diary, it is not a forum to get everybody's opinions. So what? All our kids eat junk food at some point in time, we often resort to that if Bianca is fussy because of her chemo. I would rather she eats something than not eating at all and getting another nose tube. We are trying very hard to get her to eat normal things, but unfortunately her taste for food changed the day she started Dex.

You are doing a great job. Just ignore idiots like that.

Lea White
http://whitesinnz.blogspot.com

StephthefutrRxDr said...

what a b*tchy thing to leave on someone's blog, if people want to be rude, they ought not to visit your blog at all!! Boo on you anon commenter.

Laura said...

Crazy!!!

Hayley said...

You tell 'em!! lol

L said...

Obviously the person doesn't understand what SID is! And I'm sorry if you got him the fries and a soda with it, it would still be fine! But the apple fries are pretty delicious! He is your child and he is working his butt off to over come his sensory issues. It is not an easy task and he is being very brave about it!

Janet said...

Unfortuantely disorders such as ASD and sensory integration don't have a disablitiy "look".

My Luke lives on Velveeta shells and cheese, McDonalds double cheese burgers, fruit chews, and string cheese. I can't even get him to try a french fry. He will finally eat DQ soft chocolate ice cream.

I was once told by a fellow shopper that I was abusing Luke becuase it was 32 deg and he didn't have a coat or shoes. Then she had the nerve to tell me (in front of my children) that the only reason people do foreign adoptions was so they could abuse their children and not get in trouble. I asked her why she thought they were adopted. Her response was - duh, they don't look like you. I responded with - duh, they take after their father. (yes, they are adopted from China and look nothing like my German heritage).

I could go on and on. I am very thankful for all of my friends and family who are accepting of Luke and his needs.

Janet

Bobby said...

Amen, Renee!! I can't stand people who make rude and ignorant comments without taking the time to learn about the situation.

And I also completely agree! Only cowards insult others anonymously.

Kate said...

Good for you, Renee! Give 'em hell!

Why anyone would think they can judge the quality of your children's diet based on ANY amount of posts you write is beyond me. Yes, you share a lot of your life, but I'm fairly certain you don't give the in-depth view of every moment that occurs. That Anonymous person is the type who frustrates the heck out of me because they adopt a false familiarity (thinking they KNOW you) and then judge you

I have several children with special needs and of my 7, only a few eat "normally". Sensory issues affect eating for 2 of them to a HUGE degree & another 1 has a g-tube because his body struggles to digest food at all! As a result, I have a kid who won't eat veggies, another kid who can't eat fruit (not won't ~ CAN'T. He gags & vomits, just like Kam), a kid who shuns most kinds of meat and a kid who gets most of his calories each day from formula pumped into his stomach but the foods he DOES eat are all junk-food. Your Ms. Anonymous would have a heyday judging my parenting abilities, I'm quite sure (rolls eyes).

I'm sorry you had to read a crappy comment like that. I know that sensation of thinking, "Did you bother to READ anything that I've written about this child before you jumped to your completely-erroneous conclusions?!?" It's annoying.

There's more to being a good mom than having culinary skills and whipping up a home-cooked meal every night.

It just occurred to me, though, what does Ms. Anonymous think feeding therapy IS? Does she think that they teach Kam which foods are healthy and which aren't? Seriously.... the comment that you're supposedly giving Kam the wrong message by going to a fast-food restaurant after feeding therapy makes me suspect your anonymous poster is a complete ignoramous when it comes to understanding what kind of therapy you had just come from. She really should get educated before posting a response on ANYONE'S blog ever again, especially when medical conditions & their treatments are the subject matter.

Karen said...

You go, girl! Someone needs to tell anon cowards what they look like to the rest of us.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with this. I've found that unless someone actually walks in another's shoes they have no clue what's going on or how to deal with it.

Melissa said...

You go girl! How DARE can someone be SO RUDE when they have NEVER walked in your shoes OR your childs shoes! Having sensory issues is NOT easy. I know 1st hand!

I couldn't believe that...Hello? don't bother leaving rude comments when you don't finish reading the posts! UGH!

KUDOS TO YOU!
Master Dillon's Mom

Jennifer said...

Why do people (including myself sometimes) not get the simple truth that mean-spirited, judgemental, rude, and ignorant reactions to others' situations in life are not only unproductive but detrimental?

Sensory Integration Disorder is a REAL problem with everyday implications that most people have NO way of comprehending unless they do a little more listening and a lot less spouting off. When you can't take your child in your own back yard because the feel of the grass (even with shoes on) freaks him out... that is SID. When your child chokes and vomits still at age 4 when you try to get him to try a chip for the millionth time that year, but he just can't handle the signals it sends through his CNS.... that is SID. And, when you can't dress your child in hardly ANY Halloween costumes because they will rip off any type of clothing that is not the absolute norm out of sheer panic and overwhelming discomfort... that is SID.

These "anonymous" people should do their homework and attempt to bring more compassion into their life. I don't want to bash them, but I hope they are educated through blogs like this about all the "invisible" issues that children with different needs and their families live with on an everyday basis.

nicki mcfadden said...

Don't feel bad Renee, Ashlyn thinks Burger King is homecooking LOL! Gotta love it!

datri said...

Hmmm, this is why I don't allow anonymous comments!

How did you decide it was time for feeding therapy? Kayla eat like FOUR things (GF waffles, GF noodles - spiral only, GF pretzels, and bananas) right now. Gotta love that autism stuff.

Although Laurie finally started eating things other than "beige" food when she turned 6, so I guess that's why I'm waiting with Kayla.

Just Being Me - Cathy! said...

I am sure (Ms Anonymous) doesn't have 4 children.... like we do! ha ha Some people are just so rude. You make me feel so exhausted, just reading your posts! We do need 'time out' of the kitchen some nights! Hugs Cathy xoxox

Lisa Turner said...

Way to go Renee! People should just keep rude comments to themselves. If I had a blog, they would be able to leave me lots of nasty messages. Elijah gets his fruits and veggies from V8 fusion, and thinks Wendy is his mom....lol.

mmc said...

Poor Kam! I can relate to his sensory stuff. I still do not eat apples with the skin on because it makes me gag. The texture is just.. yuck! He is lucky to have such an awesome understanding mommy to take him to feeding therapy and not make him feel guilty for struggling to eat certain foods! I am really interested to hear about feeding therapy, too bad it wasn't around when i was a kid!

also, nothing bothers me more than people who hide behind anon accounts!

Mommyto2 said...

People are just rude. Sometimes Sarah's meal consist of goldfish and occ a few bites of cheese. I get tired of being spit at and at some point I just need to get calories in and go on. You are doing great! Glad Kam ate the peas. I did not know he had sensory issues. Sarah gags so easily sometimes, it is frustrating! My kids would not even think of apple fries, nope must have french fries and a sprite!

Finding Normal said...

What is up with anon haters lately? This is the second post I've read today directed at such comments. If you're going to be rude, stand behind your ignorance.

Proud Momma of 3 said...

You are an amazing mom. Boy, Ms. Anonymous would be mad at me for being too tired to give my family dinner...and they end up eating hot pockets!! She is in the minority...the majority and I am proud to be among them...think you rock as a mom. Keep up the good work...your kids are blessed to have you!!

Love,

Mary Lynn

LaForestGump said...

I'll bet Ms. Anon was chugging a soda and noshing on french fries while she was typing away...
BTW, I'd never heard of feeding therapy, or the sensory issue. This is facinating (I'm sure it's not first hand) I'm going to have to look it up and see what it's about. Is there a particular website that has good info?

jeri said...

You go Girl!!! If someone could walk in minute in your shoes they would keep their mouth shut. You are the most amazing person there is. You have four children to deal with and a husband that is in a dangerous situation. What business is it of anyone what you chose to do. People just don't get it.

Praying for Cros said...

hello....and I also could not believe that comment! Crosby lived off Chickfila & McDonalds during his Chemo= b/c that is all he would eat!!! I never was a fan of fast food until you realize you just gotta do what you gotta do! I applaud you for telling it as is.....I have my husband at home & only 3 kids and the mcdonalds across the street invites us in often....sometimes just b/c of sheer exhaustion or no time to hit the grocery! Hug your babies & press on.......

Tracey said...

You go Girl!!!
Why do people have to be so darn rude????

Kristen said...

Rock on, Renee! I love it...veggies, not veges. My thoughts exactly. Way to set it straight!

waldenhouse said...

Good grief! It is so amusing to me how presumptious people can be.

Honestly if my husband weren't here to help with the kids I would never get a home cooked meal on the table. I marvel at how you do it all Renee! Now, go reward yourself with a happy meal and hot fudge sunday! :)

lesliemarie said...

shame shame shame on her!

Lisa & Gerald said...

I'm sorry to hear that someones being so rude to you! Boy they must love hurting other's

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with people!!?? That is awful. I think you are the greatest mom ever!!

Mallory

Courtney said...

Just let Kameron STARVE! That is MUCH better parenting!
ps: Koby knows all the fast food signs, and eats dinner at them at least three nights a week...I work 40-50 hours a week, and by the weekend, I have NOOO energy for cooking, or cleaning, or fighting with him about it! And my flaming house would be on the evening news if Chris attempted to cook!

Danielle said...

Renee, You know I love you! You are are the best mom ever. I don't think another mom in the world would love your children the way you do. You have two children with special needs and you rock at getting them through that. Not to mention the other two children who also need your attention. So, keep doing what you are doing. Good for you for standing up for your child. Don't let a "grown adult"pick a fight with you over how to take care of your own son.

Leslie said...

Yea i had someone send me a rude email the other day about my blog!!!! HEY if they dont like it then dont get on and leave comments.... period!!!!!!!

I hope they dont have the nerve to come back...US SAHM will get them for sure!!! LOL

P.S i havent been on your blog in weeks..i missed ya!
Another adoptive baby has Cancer..Breaks my heart!!!

Luv,Leslie

Laurie said...

You know, it just really annoys me how people are so judgemental. The assumptions people make without knowing anything about walking in the shoes they are judging. I am so sick of explaining why my 3 year old is still using a paci, why we stick with toddler meals for him among other things. Hugs to you and your beautiful family!

My Three Sons said...

This must be the week for anonymous rudeness. I had one this week and so did Pam at Rhett's journey. Not sure what it is but these are our blogs and people really need to lay off.

My two year old also has SPD and we are currently going to OT once a week. We will start the feeding clinic Dec 3 (we are waiting to go to that after his tonsils taken out on Halloween). So for the ones who just don't get it, you really need to educate yourself on SPD so you don't sound like such an idiot.

stephanie said...

You tell em Mama!

Carey said...

I had to go back and reread everything b/c apparently I missed some details. Seriously, I feel your pain. Who has time to cook, and when I do cook, I have the same problem w/ my 5 year old, he gags and throws it up! It's such a waste and we're so frustrated. I never thought of feeding therapy though, hmmmm. I think he's got some tactile defensiveness and other fine motor issues, so maybe an OT is in order ...

Shari said...

First, very well said! Wonderfully written! To the point! And, it's not like you have so much time since your spouse is a zillion miles away keeping our country FREE and dealing with a child who has a ton of medical needs! I know all about sensory issues. My middle son faces the same thing and we still do feeding therapy at home because we have no insurance. I understand Kam's pain and yours. It's a slow process! Keep up the good work!

Wendy said...

Like others, I don't even know you personally, and yet, I KNOW that you are an amazing mother. I'm wishing that I had a fraction of your strength, gumption, patience, and energy.

From the sounds of rude anonymous reader, (and from my own lack of awareness of the sensory disorder Kam deals with) sounds like you might need to write a book.

I have a friend who is writing a book about their adoption of a baby with attachment disorder. They eventually had to make the agonizing decision to give him up (he attempted to murder one of their other children - knives had to be locked up, the child had to be physically contained). They even had to move because others around them were so critical of their final decision.

God gives us each different paths. We have no idea what it takes to walk in another person's shoes. Hope all these positive comments have drowned out any negative vibes anonymous readers could possibly send your way!

Anonymous said...

My name is Kelly. I know Renee and her mother from Northern California. I want to apologize for leaving anonymous comments to Renee on these postings. While I am not the one to leave this insensitive message you blogged about here - I have left them. I do not have a "Google/Blogger", "OpenID","Name/URL" - so, I just leave it as Anonymous. I am very sorry to be associated with 'mean' people who do not think before speaking. I will try to start my posts from now on with my name, given I usually forget to "sign" it until after it has sent because I am used to my email automatically adding my name to the bottom.

Keeping you in my prayers, Renee!
Kelly

momof4as said...

I can't figure out why anyone would spend time leaving critical comments on someone else's blog... my kids always tell me how at school they say "when you point a finger at somebody, there are three pointing back at you..."

Hopefully by now you know I think you are an AWESOME mom and your kids are so blessed to have you. (You know, Alec used to be a very poor eater and I was *thrilled* when he would eat a Happy Meal.) Sounds like Kameron is making good progress with sensory issues (we are not free of them at my house either) and that is GREAT. Hope God will turn "Anon's" heart.

Heather

Anonymous said...

The nerve of some people amaze me. Renee, i want to let you know that i have great admiration for your family. 1st: your husband serves full time in the military for OUR freedom...thank you Frank. Hats off to all military personnel and their families.
Then, you are a stay at home mom to 4 beautiful children which is like 4 full time jobs and the most rewarding job of all. You are a great mom. i can tell from reading your blog that your special k's keep you REALLY busy. With this being said, my point is SO FREAKIN WHAT IF YOU GO THRU A DRIVE THRU ONCE OR TWICE OR MORE PER WEEK??? That is YOUR business. Heck, i only have one little one and he keeps me hopping and we go thru a drive thru about once per week too. so, i guess i am a bad mom too. oh well, our kids are happy and healthy. The person who left you such a rude comment must be jealous of you. lol. Your life is so exciting and i can tell that you never have a dull moment around your house...who wouldnt be jealous?????? Dont let one bad apple ruin the whole tree. There are sooooooo many of us that love your family and enjoy your blog. Thank you very much for being you and sharing your daily lives with us. I admire you so much. I want to be just like you when i grow up. haha. :)

Michael and Jana said...

Ridiculous. I can't believe she would take the time to write that mess. I'd love to see what she would be feeding her kids if she were to trade places with you. You're the best, don't let anyone say differently.

Jana

Becca said...

Yikes. People are really weird sometimes and have nothing better to do than to criticize good people like you who take incredible care of their kids. Samantha doesn't eat, either, and I can't really remember the last time she let me feed her a vegetable.
Actually, I managed to give her some Chunky beef/vegetable soup the other day but only if each spoonful contained goldfish. LOL
I've found the secret!

the original Awareness Warrior said...

hmmm, you only have, lets see...

Four kids
One with DS
AND leukemia (in remission!=D)
AND hydronephrosis, a vascular ring, sleep apnea, tlantoaxial Instability and Atlanto-Occipital Instability,
One child with SID
A husband in the forces
AND who is currently deployed (for the THIRD time)
And did I mention you don't have a nanny, either?

If you ate fast-food every day I would still think you're an amazing mother!

And yes, miss ignorant-anonymous, I know all that and have been keeping up with this blog for LESS THAN A MONTH. If a just-turned 13, wheelchair bound girl (who is also on medications that can affect the mental aspects such as memory, like low dose chemo, steroids & pain medications) can figure all this out (and my apologies to Renee if I messed some of the info up), than would it really hurt for you to *GASP!* THINK before you insult this AMAZING family, who, did I mention, is also the winner of the 2008 Military Motherhood Award?

UGH!!!

Need I say more?

Theresa said...

Love how brave anonymous people can be.

Love T

Marci said...

COWARDS, well head over to my blog..I start blogging about what meals we eat what nights, chick fil a, zaxbys, sonic, I could go on and on...As mom with 4 kids I do cook but sometimes it is hard. I do home child care through the day, needless to say I am stuck at home, no store trips for me. We have basketball practice, baths, dinner, bed, homework, and with a baby I cant breathe..who has time for cleaning the kitchen, dishes and cooking veggies all the time. This is the year 2008 not everyone eat properly all the time...cant....society wants life to be rushed as it is.....So back off from Renee.....
Love, Marci

Rachel said...

Just getting caught up on my reading and I must say YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel