Still though, there are some things I still want to say about Down syndrome awareness, and I know October will roll around again next year, but well... that's so far away. SO if this is the LAST post I do for the month about Down syndrome, what is THE most important thing I can tell you?
Did you know that 90% of babies with Down syndrome who are diagnosed prenatally are aborted? Seriously? Seriously. 90%. That's HUGE. 90% of parents decide that their children don't deserve to live. They don't deserve a chance to be happy or to thrive. Better yet, they are probably told they CAN'T be happy or thrive. Which is a lie.
My friend Michelle recently posted that she read this comment on another blog: "...my belief that Down's is a cruel and unusual sentence to visit on a child."
The commenter went on to say this: Far more Down's children live miserable, suffering lives than these individuals (meaning us parents) want you to believe. Viewing the lives of affected children, and simple education tells me that I could never force a child to endure what they would should they be born with Down's."
WOW. Really? I wonder how many lives of individuals with Down syndrome this commenter has actually "viewed". Because let me tell you what I see. I see kids and adults who are happy (except when someone or something makes them sad), and loving, and live life with an innocence and lack of prejudice that I wish ALL people could have.
More intimately, I see a little girl in my home who instinctively knows when I'm having a bad day and will come up and wrap her arms around my neck and give me a kiss on my cheek and tell me, "It's ok, mommy." I see a child who takes extreme pride in her every accomplishment, and who can be the most stubborn child you will ever meet! I see a child who's laugh can brighten a gloomy day. I see a sister who fights with her siblings over toys, who loves macaroni and cheese but hates black olives and adores playing dress up and going to "ballerina class". Sounds "cruel and unusual", huh?
We did NOT know prenatally that Kennedy had Down syndrome, but I can promise you 100% that she WOULD be here today, no matter what, had we known. In fact, I wish we HAD known so we could have researched. It would have made the day of her birth SO much less traumatic. However, I grieve for the advances that science is making in prenatal testing because I know that the goal of MANY OBs is to eliminate the birth of children with Down syndrome altogether... and SO many families are going to be missing out on such a HUGE blessing.
90% are already being aborted... how long before it's 99%?
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25 comments:
I recently found out that one of the nurses ( my favorite nurse) at my ob/gyn has an adult son with Down's. Also my ob/gyn is a member of RTL. Didn't know that either. But wasn't surprised. She had to call and tell me I was miscarrying when her triplets were still in nicu and she was crying right along with me. And when I had told her I didn't want to do prenatal testing ( during all my pregnancies) she didn't question me at all. I think OBs get a bad name sometimes. But mine rocks!
Although it makes me sick to hear what that woman said, I don't think the number will go up. I think, as more people are educated and children grow up with our children there will be more acceptance and understanding of how it is not a life sentence. I've met several parents at our local guild who are prenatally diagnosed and looking forward to the birth of their child. I've heard stories of parents who hug our director and celebrate their child's birth instead of crying over a diagnosis. I've heard of siblings that think it's no big deal that they will have a child with Down syndrome because they go to school with children with Down syndrome.
We have a long way to go, but we have also made a lot of progress.
Like you, I didn't know Peanut had Ds. It wouldn't have mattered which is why we did not have the tests done. She is a blessing and makes our family better.
I agree with you 100% that number is appalling. you can't tell from a fetal test what someone's quality of life is going to be. I'm against aborting for reasons such as Downs. I know quite a few people with Downs, that live, happy, fully productive lives. And they deserve that! I applaud you for stick up for your child and the millions more that don't have a voice to speak up for them.
That makes me nauseous. Seriously. Is this a national statistic or a world statistic? Just curious because I recently read it as a national statistic for U.S. and erad that their is a waiting list to adopt U.S. babies with downs that's hundreds to thousands of families long! I know with 100% certaintly that no matter what any prenatal testing told me, I'd give my baby a chance at life. They deserve that. It does make me sad too though, that there are many many false positives on those tests. Those babies may or may not have a diagnosis that they tested positive for. The may have aborted a perfectly healthy child (not that it should matter either way).
Great post! I often say that I want to take Lucy to OBs offices and just let her play in the waiting room! Let everyone see that there is sooooo nothing to be afraid of!! ~Courtney
I wonder how old the original blogger is. My guess he/she is older & not well educated. On second thought, they may have their nose stuck so far into books that they haven't been exposed to wonderful DS people.
Beckie
ok, i feel so ignorant. I had no idea/or never thought about people aborting for Ds and then to read it's 90% :(
Oh Renee, this just burns me up every time I hear the statistic. How selfish to kill a baby with DS when people are lining up to adopt them! Tragic.
I think the statistics means 90% of the babies diagnosed-
Around 50% are diagnosed-
so it's 90% of 50%.
Not 90% of 100%.
So that would be around 45%.
Wonder if she feels that capital punishment is cruel and unusual...because that's what she's condoning for these precious, amazing children! Can't even begin to understand this kind of ignorance...
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I have to admit that Kennedy really looks like she has a miserable life and is just suffering big time over it, in that picture and for about 99% of the other ones on your blog. LOL!!
You know some idiot probably saw a little one with downs in a store crying because their Mother probably said they could not have something, so in the writers eyes that means that child is living a miserable life because it was crying. Well HELLO every time you go into a store there is a child crying does it mean that child has a miserable life. NO it does not! And you know what it does not mean that every child with DS has a miserable life either.
I wish people would not say things especially if they have no idea what they are talking about. Even if the person had downs and their life was not a good ones does not mean every DS child feels that way.
Sorry I got on a soap box. LOL!!
Love,
SheilaB
That's terrible! Guess what? For tonight's game, us, the marching band is making a pink ribbon on the field. They are making us wear pink ribbons, I don't want to, I'd much rather wear gold, or one for down syndrome. People are not aware. All this week at school people have been selling breast cancer awarness stuff. I think that they should give other cancers a chance, and when I try and tell them that most people DON'T die from breast cancer, that More KIDS die from childhood cancers, they get mad at me. Next year I'm going to sell Childhood cancer awarness stuff, maybe then people will understand. Did you know that on average, every high school has AT LEAST 2 kids who have either had cancer, or are battling it? That's for EVERY SINGLE high school in America. That's just sad. We NEED to find a cure!
I see kids and adults who are happy (except when someone or something makes them sad),
Hmmm...that would be 100% of everyone I know. Does that mean that we have DS as well...or does that mean that those with DS are just like us?
(dripping with sarcasism...at least the first part of my comment. As for the answer, I already know it! :) )
What Hitler did was just terrible, everyone agrees with this. Isn't what we as Americans are doing with abortion the same thing? Just another form of ethnic cleansing. Anna
I was in class the other day and we had a guest speaker from my area's community living and the speaker told us of a story of how about 40years ago three families with children with Down Syndrome were rejected from the local school so the parents started their own school focusing on their childrens' needs. Now all children are accepted into the local school system. When I heard this story, it made me think of Kennedy and how it is Down Syndrome awareness month and how things ARE being done.
sry I forgot to sign my name
-Emma
Renee---- love your heart!
i always find it so fascinating when people say things like that. where are these families? how did they come up with rationality? did they take some type of poll. i just want to be, "how the hell do you know? you are just speaking out of your *ss." i'm not saying that every family that has a child with ds or all parents of children with ds, or even every child with ds has this wonderful, enlightened life. no, i'm sure there are many families out there that would change their child to "typical" in a heartbeat. but i haven't met one yet and i met many, many families who have a child with ds. it makes me so angry when people say stuff like that. i read not that long ago an article about ds and the author said something to the affect that our children are burdens whether we want to admit or not. oh, please. well for one...now that i think of it, what child isn't a "burden?" they ALL cost money, heartache, stress, etc...it's life. but ALL children bring a huge amount of love...and children with special needs usually bring even more love and understanding into a home. now i'm ticked. lol. a burden? oh, please. get a clue.
What an ignorant world that person lives in...
How sad that they will never get to experience the joys and wonders that having a child with D's can and does bring. I do not feel sorry for any family that has a child with D's.. I feel sorry for all the people out there who will never know what it feels like to share their life with these amazing people.
I think you know how I feel - ditto! :)
I'm no expert by far, but every individual with DS that I've ever met was very, very happy. They seem to have a light about them, they see beauty where we don't.
Love this post!
I feel so sorry for that commenter. How poor are they for never having known someone with DS? (Because to say that, they can't have.)
And, well, I just can't understand at all why anyone would murder a baby based on that. It is just completely, and utterly beyond my comprehension.
Well said in this post Renee, well said!
What a beautiful post! I have 4 children...my 4th baby was born with Down Syndrome. A surprise to us, but not to God! I chose not to get the blood test during pregnancy because it wouldn't have mattered if we did know.
What a gift Kaedon is to us! He is only 8 months old and has brought us immeasurable joy already! I look forward to so much more! God has and is going to continue to use him to teach us and many others SO MUCH! Your Kennedy is beautiful!
And you know what I find very sad about this? How inaccurate the prenatal testing is. What if they aren't actually aborting a baby with Down Syndrome? Scary thought isn't it?
great post Renee! Miserable lives? Well I'm glad the kids and adults that actually have Ds don't know that! I, too, wish we as people were more forgiving and innocent like most people with Ds are.
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