Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Well Good Grief!

I have been private for a whole whoppin' two weeks now. Seriously. Blogger allows me 100 readers when I'm private which took me about 2 days to fill up. So THEN I started another private blog and just posted everything twice. I figured I'd be set. Wrong. Yesterday I hit my limit there, too. I also realize that many of the people I've let in as readers I don't really KNOW. I have received lots of emails and facebook messages and even twitter messages asking me for invites, but the truth is, my posts could really be copied and pasted anywhere... I mean, with 200 readers, nothing is really private anyway, is it?

Part of the reason I went private is because I received a couple of nasty comments about my last public post. I realize as a blogger I am putting my life out there (or at least parts of my life out there) for people to read about and do with what they will. I think that people sometimes forget that behind the screen you are reading, we are a real family with real hurts and real hopes and real dreams and sometimes things don't always turn out the way that we, or the rest of the world, thinks they should.

We are ALL trying to do the VERY best we can in the path that we are walking. Some of those paths have been chosen for us, some we have chosen for ourselves; either way, some of the decisions that our family makes may not be the same ones you would make. Some of the things that we believe will not be the same things you believe. Does that mean that you are right and we are wrong? No. Does that mean that we are right and you are wrong? No. It means that we are all trying to find our way... sometimes we are going to get it exactly right, sometimes we are going to get it very wrong and we'll have to pick ourselves back up and keep going. Either way, it's not going to do us (or you) any good to leave us nasty comments, talk nasty about us in private groups, or come up with stories which have strayed so far from the truth, it's almost funny now.

If you have questions, ask me. My email is CAmommy2KJ@aol.com or you can find me on Facebook and send me a message. I'm almost always around. There are some details of our lives that I will keep private, especially regarding my children, and you'll have to respect that, but I feel like overall I have been pretty open about most areas of our lives. It may take me a bit to answer, but I'll get back to you. If you've been "hearing things" don't assume it's all true. I feel like I'm back in high school and the prom queen is out to get me. It's silly! (As Kennedy would say.)

So, in order to save myself the work of opening up a THIRD blog and triple posting all my blog posts, I'm opening back up. My comments are going back to moderated, and anonymous comments will not be allowed. I won't publish any nasty comments and I won't acknowledge them... I'm trying to teach my children that if they don't have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. I need to work on that myself sometimes. One of our many purposes in life is to help others along the way, in any capacity we can. That may be to offer advice, to listen, or to act. But if there's nothing we can do to help, we at least should not hurt them through our words or actions. If you'd like to know what's been going on with us, have seat, take a read... there's a few posts to catch up on.

We have a lot going on here... fires all over Colorado Springs and HOT weather and busy days. I'll do another update on all that later. To those of you who haven't seen me in a couple weeks, "Hello there!" To all of you who sent me emails and FB messages, thank you so much!! Now, it's time to get on with our summer. :)

59 comments :

Naomi said...

Yeah, you're back! going to go and catch up now :-)

Shannon said...

Thank you for going public again. I love reading your blog and have nothing but the utmost respect for you and Frank and your parenting decisions and skills. Your kids are awesome as well.

Amy Brown said...

I don't know what I missed, as I've been away from my computer a bit, but I'm sorry that you went through that. People need to understand and respect each other. I'm glad that you decided to go public again. While I don't comment often (I do on your FB from time to time) I always read, and am impressed with you as a person, and a mother. You're an amazing woman. Don't let anyone tell you other wise!

Lori & Family said...

Renee,
I have missed all of you the last few days and was wondering if you had gone private. People can be so rude and it is so hard with RAD. I am a foster adoptive mom and have had kids with RAD and it is not a easy or fixable thing sometimes. I was glad to hear that you had sent Kellsey to your Mom's for a break everyone needs one and you all deserve to be in the best place for all of you. If she likes it there where it can be the same schedule and you guys can enjoy the upside down schedule of any mom with 4 busy kids then so be it.

So glad to hear that you are open again and I can get my Special K fix

Becca said...

Glad you're back!! :-)

Emily Doss said...

Yay! Glad you are back! Haters gonna hate is all that is going through my head right now. Sorry there are mean people out there. :(

Kim said...

Oh how I have missed reading your blog and seeing the pictures of the kids. I have been a loyal follower for many years and I have watched your kids "grow up". I have followed you through you "highs and lows". You are a true inspiration and someone I consider a friend even though we have never met except on the blog and Facebook. Stay safe with all those fires. We spent six years in Salt Lake and I know all too well about those fires, except none ever got as close as yours!

Amanda said...

ha! Well, I guess you can disregard my previous comment. I only read blogs through my google reader & rarely visit the actual blog. I'm glad you're open again - you're one of my favourite (virtual) families! Hope you are ALL having a great summer!

~ Teresa ~ said...

I am very glad that you are back. I don't blame you for being concerned and I feel that you are right in moderating your comments. Take care!

Luann said...

Yay! I'm glad you're back. I hope you're having a wonderful summer! :)

I rarely comment, but I just felt I should give you some support today.

Stay safe with the fires!

Alice in Wonderland Cakes said...

I'm a long time reader, first time commenter. I'm a Special Needs Teacher here in the UK. I didn't ask to be on your private blog readership because I didn't know you and if you felt you needed privacy I didn't want to intrude, but I am very glad you re-opened your blog! I've read back on our last few posts and your openness about yours and Kellsey's struggles have helped me understand so much more your decision to see whether she could be more settled in a quieter household, so I hope your braveness only brings you understanding and loving comments. I have many students with Down Syndrome, and some who also have a dual diagnosis of Autisim, and even some who spent a very long part of their lives in long stay institutions. (I teach lifelong learning, 18+) When one of those students nodded to me in response to my signed and spoken 'Hello' after 2 years it was a wonderful day.
All the best, Alice x

Monique said...

I am so glad you are back. I was one that was so bummed when I could not access your blog. I did not have your email or know your Facebook account so figured I had to just wait it out and hope you opened up again. I figured it was due to someone being mean. I never understand that. Mean people suck!! Looking forward to catching uyp on your wonderful family.

Shari said...

Renee:

I feel really bad. I had no idea you were going private and missed it somehow. I am sorry you got the brunt end of somebody's judgement and anger. Some can be so mean! I have been going through that myself the last month.

I just figured you hadn't posted so I was waiting for an update. I got that today. Forgive me for not being in tune.

I have prayed for your family and have continued to do so. I don't know everything about you and never will. Just like you won't know everything about us.

But one thing I do know is that you have loved our family and I have tried to love you back in the same manner. I hope it has showed.

My prayers continue for your family and I hope things gets improved soon.

Shari

Patti said...

I know how you feel. I turned down so many people when our family blog went private- blogger is lame :/ But I'm glad you're back !

aweyers2 said...

I was so sad you went private, but knew there was a reason!! I'm glad your back, and all us positive people out weigh those meanies. You do what is right for your family.

Sewconsult said...

I think intonation is so hard to convey when we blog or email. I have been fortunate that no one has been ugly to me, but I hide a lot of my issues! LOL! I think that your blog has taught me so much and brought my heart to a new level when it comes to the DS children & their futures. Hugs from TN,
Beckie

ashley said...

I just want to say hello to you Renee.
I have read your blog off and on since you started the Bringing Kellsey Home blog. With the news of the wildfires in Colorado Springs I popped over to "check in" with your family and was dismayed to find that your blog was private. You don't know me and I respect your family's right to privacy. But over the years I have developed a bit of attachment to your family and was disappointed to lose this connection.
I am single, but in a way I "look up to you." I admire that you share the joys and struggles of raising a (large by modern standards) family, of raising daughters with "special needs", of international adoption, and of being an Army spouse.
I am tempted to delete what I have written as it feels entirely unnecessary, but I will let it stand as an affirmation of your choice to share your family's life with others.
God bless.

Anne B. said...

Praying hard for you in the fire situation....also worried about family in the horrendous floods in FL. The imbalance in Mother Nature is frustrating! Trusting in God for everyone's safety!! (((HUGS)))!!!

Vivielle said...

Soooo glad you're back- I missed you.

Amanda said...

I'm also glad you're back! I was missing your posts and reading about your family. It looks like everyone is having a fun (and enlightening) summer so far!

Melissa said...

Renee,
Soooooo happy you are back, I missed your post hearing about the kids, and worried about the fire that may or may not be close to you! I have always said that you post what you want, I nor does anyone else live your life 24/7, we have no idea what is going on trust you---the parent to make the best decision you can for your family at the time. So happy you are back, please stay safe!!

Jamie said...

Renee, i'm glad you are back :) and i hope you all stay safe with the fires!!!

Notsopc said...

So are you going to go back to your first blog?? as in this one and drop the second one? and I don't blame you for going back public you have a good following. Just don't let any of the nasties get to you. You are still going to see them.
Nancy

Angie said...

I'm glad you are back... I worried why you hadn't updated in quite a while. Have a great summer - and please update us on how Kellsey is doing with your mom. Always remember that it's not you.... YOU were able to see the real Kellsey in the hospital so you know that she is in there.

Barbara said...

Just wanted to say that I am really glad you are back :)

Tee said...

Hi Renee.

I am really glad you came back public. My son is turning four in July and he was born with a brain injury that caused autistic like symptoms. One of the hardest parts of being a great mom to him is that he is not a super affectionate, loving kid. To hear your struggles with Kelsey makes me realize how I also deal with my son's lack of affection towards me by fighting so.hard. for him medically.

I know its like comparing apples to oranges, and I can't begin to understand what you've been through. But thank you for posting your story because I feel like I'm not as alone.

BridgetPirie said...

Whew, I'm so glad you are back. When you went private, I had no idea how to contact you to be invited. Funnily enough, I know all your kids names so well, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of your name (blame sleep deprivation). I've been clicking on the link every day and today I nearly didn't click on it, thinking it would be another rejection. And I was so excited to be let in. I've so missed reading about your family. I've just read back on what I missed. Wow! Your poor family. I always thought you all were incredible, now I think you are even more so. I never dreamed how hard it has been for you all. I so hope that you can find a way for things to be easier for the whole family.
Love to you all!

KellyBean said...

Another option would be to switch to Wordpress... you'd have to pay for hosting, but then you'd have the option of going as private as you want... you could password protect individual posts or the whole site. Just a thought. If you need help with it, I could answer any questions you may have. :)

*1mOmentNtiMe* said...

I am so glad you're back. I have never commented before, but I love your blog. I have been reading for a while now and I been touched by your blog and all your wonderful kids. I can't believe people would have anything mean to say to you or about your family. Thank you for returning!! God Bless!!

Kathy O'Dell said...

I've been fortunate to be able to keep up with you (thank you allowing that btw)and I've been thinking about your blog and the decisions that you made for your family. It's so great that your mom can take Kelsey for awhile, she raised you so she obviously knows what she's doing! I hope that you all have a wonderful summer!!

Mundanemomma said...

I'm glad you opened up again! I missed your blog! I am sure it must have been a hard decision to make, as there are ALWAYS going to be mean nasty people that feel they need to stick their nose into others' business, you'll likely never get away from it. But you are doing so much good with your blog! I read the comments people leave for you often, and there are Sooo many people you've helped, educated, and supported with your posts. Even me, I don't have a child with special needs, or an army spouse, or five children, but I look up to you. When I feel like I can't do it, that the events of my day are getting me down, I think of you, and how strong you are, and how much you must go through every day,but your posts are always positive sounding and you sound like you write with a smile on your face. Your posts on the dangers of the batteries opened my eyes to something I'd never considered or known about! And I look after young children for a living! I've always considered myself fairly educated about child safety, and while I would have known these batteries to be a choking hazard, I'd never have realized just how dangerous they really are! I shared your post with everyone I knew on FB.
Renee, you've helped so many people, and done so much good with this blog, and while I would totally respect your decision to go private, I'm Awfully glad you went back to public. Thank you.

Unknown said...

Glad you're back. :)

Stephanie B said...

Oh Renee! I'm so happy it is open again!! I remember the first time ever reading your blog!! I think your blog was one of the very first that I started reading five years ago!! Happy Summer!! Be safe with the fires!!

Cindy said...

I'm sorry that you've gotten nasty comments. I'm glad you went public again. I missed reading about your family.

Cindy said...

I'm sorry that you've gotten nasty comments. I'm glad you went public again. I missed reading about your family.

Mel said...

YAY!!! I was JUST thinking about you today and said a little prayer, and then BOOM, there's an update on my lil reading list!! :) I have to tell you that I admire you for sharing Renee, you might just save a family some heartache. Hugs to you and ALL of your Ks!! :)

Nancy said...

Oh, my gosh, you're back! I missed you a ton. Yippee!!!

Nancy in CT (who is actually in Phoenix for the next 4+ weeks, while my girl dances with Ballet Arizona!)

Tracy said...

I was so sad to see that you had gone private. I did not know how to contact you to ask to be invited, so I was glad to come online tonight and see that you were back. I don't understand anyone sending you nasty comments! It is no one's place to judge and you never claim to know it all nor do you preach to others that they should do what you do. How can anyone put down someone for doing the best they can? I think you are a great mom. Hang in there and stay safe. Sending hugs from Florida.

teacher said...

I am so glad you're back! Your blog makes me smile!

csmith said...

I'm so happy to see you're back! I was so sad to see that you had gone private. I hoped that it didn't mean that you had gotten nasty comments, I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't see anything in your posts that would have triggered ugliness,maybe that means I'm a nice person;).You have every right to delete anything that you don't like in the comments, the rest of us don't want to see hatefulness anyway. Thank you for continuing to share your sweet family with us.

Lynn said...

I still don't understand why they limited you to 100 anyway! There's no other place to blog where you could be private yet have as many people as you want?
These are such comforting words that paint such an amazing picture. Praying!
Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.
My email address

Ginny D. said...

I'm so sorry for the hurtful, nasty comments you've received. I can certainly understand why you'd want to make the blog private. Thank you for reconsidering and making it public again!

Christina said...

Glad you are back! I really enjoy reading your blog!

Dottie said...

Thanks for opening back up. I have read your blog since ---well, a long time but have never commented. I enjoy your family so very much & feel as if I know them all. Was so concerned when blog told me I was not invited to read it & didn't know how to contact you to get added onto the "welcome" list. Anyway, glad it's been resolved & you haven't let the nay-sayers change what is right for you & yours. No one will ever agree with everthing you decide to do regarding your family. Please don't let others pass judgement on you when what you do is done out of love! Thanks for allowing the rest of us to keep reading. Prayers are coming your way to keep safe from the fires & to have a great vacation!!!!!

JennaJennJenn said...

Yay you're back! When I saw that you had went private I immediately knew why. I think moderating the comments and not letting the nasty ones be seen is the best way to go. I wish someone else could moderate for you so you didn't have to read them in the first place. But thank you for continuing to give us a glimpse into your life. It is a privilege and should be respected as such. And on those days when you are getting nasty comments and you ask yourself why you are putting yourself through all this, please know that you are making a difference. For every mean person there are thousands of others who support you and appreciate what you do.

Shelly said...

I am glad your back to open! I have missed reading your blog when I discovered you went private!

and glad you are all safe from the fires there!

:)

Teresa said...

So glad your house is not in the direct path of the fire. Will you take the guinea pigs with you to CA or get a pet sitter? Just curious. We have a piggy too. Can you block individual blog readers after they leave an inappropriate comment? I know you would have to see the initial comment, but it would stop them from doing it again. I know you're probably already doing that, right? Just wish you didn't have to deal with it at all. Some people can be so mean!

Lisa (DanielsMommy) said...

My heart is racing....those pics got me nervous...I'm glad your all heading out to Cali...and so happy to hear Frank is going straight there too. Many prayers for everyone in CO dealing with these devastating fires. Hugs to you all, and so happy to hear vacation is starting early!! Enjoy!!!!

lvsgma said...

so happy you're back! missed reading about your family and all their doings

Sara P. said...

Renee,
So very happy to see you are blogging again. I love to read about your family and think you and Frank do a wonderful job with your kids, your family and your lives. I'm very sorry you've had nasty comments thrown your way. No one has the right to judge you. Best of luck with all the difficult choices ahead of you. Hope this summer gives a little respite to all.
Sara P.

Cate said...

Oh, I'm so glad you are back. I missed you! I hope you are all having a great summer. Those fires are scary. As for Kellsey - you guys are figuring it out. You will, in time. and, I don't know how to put this exactly but...a lot of people who have a child with DS are adopting another child with DS internationally, and that's great, but it's not always a walk in the park, and I think that gets lost. As difficult as it is for you to be out there, I think you provide a really valuable perspective. So, thank you.

JoDee said...

I am so glad to be able to read your blog again and so sorry that there are such mean spiteful people out there that would make your life and decisions even more difficult. I don't know you personally and nor do I know even half of what you have been going though but you have taught me so much. I also want to tell you again what an absolutely beautiful family you have.

Meg said...

I'm so glad you are back and open to the public!! I've been following your blog for many years - guessing back to 2008, never really commented but always very much in support of you and your family. When I saw you went private I was sad. I'm sure the negative comments are challenging to deal with but know that you have a lot of followers who support you very much. Welcome back!

Kath said...

I'm really glad you are back! I missed the whole thing because I went on holiday (To your country! I came to PA) and came back to your blog being private. It sucks that people feel the need to leave nasty comments to you, hopefully having anonymous off will sort that some, it seems to have done on other blogs I read.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad to see your blog back!!! I've been following for a while and really enjoy your posts, but when you went private I missed them. There are always people with negative things to say; almost always about strangers. I can't understand why you'd continue to read a blog if you felt so strongly that someone was doing something terrible...Welcome back to the public!

Jillian said...

I'm so glad you're back!! I missed reading

Rachel said...

Am so happy to see your blog back up! I have missed reading all about your precious family and adorable kiddos.

Jodie said...

Whew...playing catch up. I haven't read in a really, really long time. I just read through some of your posts and I want you to know that I'm thinking of you, praying for you and hope all is well. You have always been one of my role models. Stay strong, my friend. Things will work out. Hugs!!!

Good Thanks said...

I followed your blog a few years ago, and missed your journey of adopting Kellsey. Happy to 'find' you again.